The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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