dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
