Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I pour the whiskey from now on
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