Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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