Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
