bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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