I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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