You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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