guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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