no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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