lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
