Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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