Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
