He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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