you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize