I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
