I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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