How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
