Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
