We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
