I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
