I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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