so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
