take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
