Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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