Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize