You're my little dorito
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
