Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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