what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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