im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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