she looked like the before picture.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
