South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
