If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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