it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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