tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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