I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
