Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
