Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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