Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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