i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
