To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
