Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
