the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
