we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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