He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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