38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
