I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
