Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
