He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Enjoy the penises
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
