I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
