Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
