i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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