The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
