Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
