There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
