A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
