It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize