those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
foreskin is a definite game changer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
