yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize