Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
